Myself and You

As an infant 

I would never see two months as long enough with you - we should have had a lifetime 

I knew you to be the one who I was most connected 

As a two year old

I was in limbo with a new name and a new country

I knew you as a storybook character

As a child 

if you had told me I would someday look for you I would have laughed and left the room

I knew you as an imaginary figure in my mind 

As a preteen 

I lived a life you knew nothing of and spoke in a different mother tongue  

I never thought of you - we were not connected

As a teenager

I didn't share my story publicly and denied my differences from my friends and family

I thought of you only in passing moments

As a young adult

I began to question biological heredities and connections to people unknown 

I asked who I was in relation to you 

As an adult 

I have come to appreciate you and the life you fought to start for me 

I think of you daily and wonder who you are

Today

I dream of knowing our whole story from birth to separation and your life there after 

I wish I could tell you I love you.