Connection Chats
I have been inhaling various medias as I learn more about my biological heritage and adoption journey.
In honor of AAPI month I would like to share my adoptee thoughts in relation to cultural connection.
I've been thinking more about my biological cultural roots and trying to find ways to feel connected. This is difficult for a few reasons. First, because culturally asians seem to be a ‘closed’ group with high entrance standards. Even if I look and say I'm asian I am often told I'm ‘not’ by other asians. Second, some part of me is screaming imposter and fraud because what should come naturally doesn't, the other is trying to be open minded and accepting of my own growth. Third, learning about a culture on your own without direction is incredibly difficult. This is why finding others with similar stories to be in a community with, is important.
Not all adoptees will connect culturally in the same ways. Here's what I have felt called to in my own self discovery.
About a year ago I got into historical (mostly Chinese) dramas that exposed me to language, costumes, customs/ dress and much more. I'm aware that tv is often exaggerated and not 100% accurate, but it's a wonderful place to start and offers me a connection I didn't have previously.
I have always loved asian food but have also started cooking asian dishes and experimenting with the flavors. Asian cooking seems to differ from western in that it is more ingredients based where western cooking is final product based. For example, Asian food typically does not follow a recipe because it is based on ‘add to taste’ or cooked depending on the seasonal ingredients. However, western food is cooked as a dish being made of only specific ingredients.
Something simple I haven't seen much of is a sense of time. By which I mean, being a transracial adoptee, my biological culture is in a different time zone. When I eat dinner they eat breakfast. A few months ago I added a clock widget to my phone to always know the time in Anhui. I see it multiple times a day and often think, ‘what might my biological family be doing at the time?’ Even if I don't know them by name I wonder about their day to day lives.
I hope to continue building a meaningful connection to myself including my asian heritage.
I am speaking from my own life experiences and opinions as a transracial adoptee. Please recognise everyone is entitled to their own views and may have different experiences.
