Say What

A college cafeteria. With its monotonous salad bar and fatty foods on standby. Theoretically, it's nutritious but the students know the truth. The vegetarian rolls are made with bacon grease and the vegan lasagna has various dairy and animal products in it. Yet the college requires that all first-years buy the full meal plan. You pick up a bright colored plate and join the line. This late in the semester people have fallen into a routine and have established their favorite spots to sit at. You have your food and silverware. After claiming your seat, you go for a drink. 

 "Military brat?" 

It's a question but it comes out as a slur. I'm standing in the cafeteria holding down the small white tab labeled water on the soda machine, I like to be polite and kind so I thanked the worker who was restocking the glasses. She asked me where I was from and I told her, well I'm not sure what I said, something along the lines of having grown up overseas. She proceeded to ask where "home" was, I shrugged. 

"Hear or overseas?" Her quizzical look that followed is one I know well. Brows raised, lips pursed and wandering eyes. "Sigh, stateside, Minnesota." I grimaced as I say this, but it's the easiest answer. 

"Oh, military brat?" 

I shake my head in shock. I have always struggled with this question. Simple yet conflicting. I was adopted from China but do not identify as Chinese. I am an American citizen but have lived the majority of my life overseas in various countries. If I have to give a "home" I often say Kotzebue, Alaska, a small village above the Arctic Circle.  

I had never been called this before. I know the term and do not approve of what it implies especially coming out of nowhere. Needless to say, I ducked out of the conversation as respectfully and as quickly as I could. 

I guess all I'm saying is that we must be careful of our assumptions and how we phrase them. I'm sure she did not mean to offend me, however, I'm still shocked at how to direct, deliberate and snooty she said 

"Military brat."